A PEACEFUL CONFRONTATION: Cream colored silk blouse, belly, crop pants, and leather loafers
It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence.
– Mahatma Gandhi
The heat is oppressive with temperatures consistently in the 100s. The most important thing is to stay cool, which instantly makes me gravitate to wearing white clothes that breath. This objective also leads me to second Nicole’s and Kelly’s sentiment “Fuck Bras“.
Donning all white spurs thoughts of peace. I have never been much of a fighter or a protestor. I prefer to avoid conflict. I believe that most people who offend me do not actually intend to. People have different backgrounds and are dealing with their own struggles of pain and their actions are byproducts. There is nothing wrong with people taking care of themselves. Being understanding of others is one of my practices to feel inner harmony.
Even with my best intentions, in the last few years my unspoken feelings of hurt have built up into resentment and anger. I have gotten angry that people don’t know their behavior affects me and that I have failed to stand up for myself. Because I have avoided confrontation to escape further pain of rejection or offending, I have grown distant from people I care about and have lost romances and friendships.
Yes Mahatma Ghandi I have been a coward. I have confused my passive approach to conflict as being peaceful. I now recognize that it is unwise to say nothing when something deeply bothers or hurts me. Confrontation is a means to give others the opportunity to show they care. It starts the conversation that can lead to a level of understanding. I am now more afraid of what will happen if I do not confront than confrontation itself.
There is an art to peaceful confrontation. 1. If one enters into a confrontation assuming the other person does not care about them or the issue, the conversation will be pointless. Statements of judgement will be expressed. The other person will inevitably react defensively. And, no one will listen to each other. There will be no understanding. 2. It is best to start the conversation with an acknowledgement that you are sure the other person had the best intentions but you feel this way ________. 3. No one changes over night, persistence in expressing yourself and wants are key. 4. You must be prepared to change your own mind. 5. If you say or do something hurtful during confrontation, you then camouflage the other person’s offense by taking the focus off of the issue . Instead the focus will be on your behavior in the argument. 6. Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary. – Mahatma Gandhi
Silk button-up shirt: Guddi’s, thrift store
Off-white professional crop pants: Express, several years ago
Italian handmade tan leather loafers: Joan David, thrift store
Vintage macrame purse: thrift store, borrowed from Kelly
Photographer: Kelly Lynae Robinson
