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Who gives a flock? I do. A lot. Sometimes to the point of paralysis. I’ve been learning that sometimes the things I am the best at, are the things I don’t place any importance on, things that I, nor anyone else expects me to be good at. I’ve learned to ski, rock climb, play some piano and it all came naturally to me. I suspect this is because if I lower the bar, I allow myself to be imperfect. This allows me to focus on what I am doing rather than if I am good at it or not.

I like a quote by Ira Glass that a few of you may have read before.

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”
― Ira Glass

I’m going through the awkward phase. Just as Ira Glass says, I have killer taste but my work isn’t at the same level yet. Until I read his quote, I always thought that I needed to keep working on a project until it completely satisfied my taste, a very unrealistic standard. No artist has all the time in the world to make sure everything they produce is gold. We have to learn to suck it up and accept we have to crap out some turds before we get to the good stuff. The other option is less desirable and that is to learn to have mediocre taste.

When I find myself over analyzing my work, I remind myself I need to have fun and go poison some geese in the park.

This is me calling the geese closer.

If you are wondering what is wrong with me, blame my father for raising me with Tom Lehrer music.

Anywho . . . about the outfit:

Vintage flower dress: RN17819 (ie Kingly Manufacturing Group), thrift store

I’ve never seen a dress before without a brand label. Apparently a RN is a registered number for manufacturing companies if they do not put their name on their clothing.

Floral upholstery boots: hand made in Chile, gift

Evil eye necklace from Afghanistan: Armor Bijoux

Old pawn Navajo turquoise jewelry: gift

 

Photographer: Kelly Lynae Robinson

 

 

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If you could ask a psychic anything about your future and there was no question whether other not they could predict your future, what would you ask them?

I started posing this question to friends five months ago when I was pondering the idea of visiting a psychic. Here are a few of the responses I got:

How and will I meet my soul mate?
Will I be successful in my career?
Should I focus on my career right now or be thinking about getting married and starting a family?
Does predicting the future mean there is no free will?

The were a couple of motives behind my question: I wanted to know what concerns my friends were facing and I also wanted to examine if knowing what to expect made it easier to take action in life.

The poncho I wore to see a psychic: thrift store find borrowed from Kim    

I am in a new stage in my life where I no longer feel the obligation to play it safe and get a career job, buy a house, and start a family. Sorry mom. Moving away from tradition, I am still struggling with wanting to blueprint the unknown. Examining the idea of visiting a psychic was an attempt to alleviate my anxiety about whether or not I was going in the right direction.

Blue dress: Gap
Blue v-neck sweater: Gap

Two months ago I made an appointment to see the famous psychic David Akins who happens to reside in Nampa, Idaho. People all over the world fly in to see him. I have a couple of friends who claim he has predicted crazy events. One went to see him just before deciding whether to move to Texas or go away to New York. Akins indicated that something disastrous would happen in Texas. He also told my friend that she would end up in a motorcycle accident but would only break her left leg. A few months later, Hurricane Katrina hit.  She ended up with a broken left leg in New York after a motorcycle accident.

Glorious upholstery booties: hand made from Chile, gift
Green turquoise rings: antique Navajo Indian, gift

As I got closer to my reading on December 1, I was uncertain if I wanted a prediction of my future accurate or hokey. In the last couple of months, my anxiety about my future has calmed because I have been discovering what I want and have been able to go after it. In the past I have wanted and chosen romantic relationships, friendships, and a career; If I had known they were not going to workout, I would have lost the joy they have brought me. The beauty of the unknown is it allows me to have adventures.

How did my psychic reading go? I was told I was sharp. My chosen focus in my life is not to judge people. I have the same aura of CEOs that have come to visit him, which I suppose means I am going to be successful. I will always have an aching to serve people. If I am not expressing myself creatively, I need to be. He sees me traveling a lot in life. There was more but it basically left a lot to the unknown.

Photos by Kim Philley.

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