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Blast you, global-lukewarmed weather. I think all the FU girls stateside of Thailand are feeling the wardrobe blahs of the winter. Funkopolitan, I tell you what. For some reason winter, especially this neurotic winter of blinding sun but blistering air, makes me feel like I’m in a fog of slow-moving bad fashion attitude.

But you know what helps? Wearing a blanket, and fuzzies, and armor.

Shuddup. So what if I’ve also been wearing these Blank black bleached legging-jeans ($5, 50% off at outdoor rack at LUX) for a week now straight. They go with everything. And no one sees the stains. The Merrell fleece-lined black boots ($9, REI garage sale) save my wimpy feet almost everyday, too.

Whatchyoolookinat? An Orange/pink reversable black pashmina with silver stiching (gift from Istanbul). This classy-as-all-get-out wool scarf lets me get away with wearing a fashionable blanket and then draping it however the hell I want to keep out the cold/onlookers. Holla. I try to keep it rolled up at the ready in my Mary Poppins’ Thai carpet bag (see below) at all times.

I got this warming vision about 7 years ago, when a friend of mine visited Turkey. I specifically requested a “classy pashmina” as an I-took-care-of-your-houseplants present. Spot on. This is the scarf I thought I lost on my recent sickly birthday at Boise Guest House, but they found it behind a dresser a week later. Holla get well birthday.

Meh. Let’s liven up the lackluster, shall we, with fuzzies. Neiman-Marcus vintage cream cashmere sweater ($2.99, thrift store; made in Hong Kong circa 1970s) and cream leggings ($2.99, Grocery Outlet). Gah. I love finding cashmere for peanuts at thrift stores. Mood on the rise.

Armor Bijoux, Bethany Walter jewelryWhen all else fails, this Armor Bijoux silver and glass antique from 1920s Afghanistan ($$$, Armor Bijoux by Bethany Walter) catches the glint in your, or at least someone’s, eye and makes you feel that much more blindingly powerful.

Alright, little red riding hood, I acquise, you’re lookin’ good. L.L. Bean knitted red and black wool sweater (?, purchased in high school when I was trying to be all Mormon-prep and now falling apart but more lovely for it) and the infamous Mary Poppins’ carpet bag (gift from Kim and the queen of Thailand-I’ll explain some other time) that holds the secret to all mysteries and knickknacks and writerly supplies and handiness and also the universe.

So, this outfit is pretty much everything a big bad winter could want. Woooh.

Photography by the show-and-cold-stopping Kelly Lynae. And thank you Bethany Walter for my last photo.

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I don’t get sick very often (unless I am drinking wine, then it is a morning-time certainty; if only I would remember that lesson about the doom of repeated history), but I’ve realized that when I do fall ill my fashion sense follows under-the-weather guidelines, such as: “What is warm?” and also “What is easy to put on?” and sometimes “What does not make me want to puke?”The answer: this. If I drank less wine last night at the Serious Bad Ass Writing Club I would find each garment on the floor and tell you their brand names. But I can start from rock bottom (as usual) with green wool hiking socks and Frye boots.
The underlayer, a faux animal print in orange and gray, is over a cream Kenzie wool blend knit sweater. (You may remember this from O Holey Night.)

The wool skirt is from a thrift store. I originally thought it was too big for me but it looks pretty great hitting right at the calf, and keeps me warm as poop.
Unintentionally, my slip kept slipping past my hemline, which ended up adding to the whole effect.
See, fashion is also for the sick, and the self-destructive. (Sometimes simultaneously.) To your health!

The carpet bag is a gift from Kim and Thailand that I now take everywhere. I’ll explain the magic of it later.

The pictures are from the future-famous filmmaker/screenwriter Jason Willford, love of Kelly.

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