It is another self-employed, self-governed day.
Even though being self-employed has been one of the hardest reinventions of my life, nothing in me wants to trade it in for the rickety life-raft of a nine to five. Instead, I’d rather trudge through its waves and swallow my salty neurosis.
Gone are the billable hours blaming the world for my negative environment, the clients, the coworkers, the impossible deadlines, and the marrow-draining projects.
Self-employed, I have spent enough time alone to know that 90% of negativity is a self-feeding internal loop. One of the gifts of self-employment has been becoming more aware of my process: I create. I doubt. I create. I doubt. Left unchecked, my insecurities evolve into irritation, paranoia, or defensiveness. Anticipating this pattern allows me to embrace the discomfort of the natural struggle rather than getting blind sided by it.
Whether employed or self-employed, there is no escaping struggle, there is only the choice to embrace it and/or try a new approach. Otherwise, have fun in a self-imposed hell. Muhahaha. But seriously.
Photography by Kelly Lynae
Thrift store outfit:
Jean jacket: Halogen
Ethnic earrings, shell and turquoise: Tina Montoya, New Mexico
70s high-waisted polyester pants
Button-up dress shirt: Van Heusen