Bidet lost in translation
This last Tuesday made me think of Russia. Not for any real good reason but because it seems like the romantic place to think of when winter is slapping you in the face.
XL brown sweater: Stan Sport, thrift store
Hounds tooth polyester pants: Home sewn, thrift store
Black leather woven belt: thrift store
When I was 20 I actually traveled to Russia with my parents and stayed for two weeks, one week in Moscow and one week in St. Petersburg.
Wool beret: Kate Landry, Dillard’s clearance
Linen black and white striped scarf: BDG
Most people ask why Russia. Don’t tell but my family used to belong to the Society for Creative Anachronisms. What? Basically it is a group similar to those in Renaissance fairs but instead it is a group that recreates medieval times. The other difference is it tends to be a private group that anyone can join but generally is not set up to entertain the public. And no, it isn’t larping. The interesting thing about this group is that it attracts either very intellectual and historical nerds or the incredibly randy type with low IQ’s. My parents fit into the nerdy type interested in Russian history and literature.
Linen black and white striped scarf: BDG
Black wedge booties: Denna & Ozzy
While in in Russia, my family and I were fortunate enough to have our own personal guide rather than having to be herded around with other tourists. Our guide’s name was Tatjana and an 18 year old university student studying to be a hotel manager.
Vintage silver earrings: Afghanistan, Armor Bijoux
One evening, after a week and a half of staying in hotels, I asked Tatjana what she would change about the hotels we had been staying at. She told me that even though they were five star hotels with feathered beds and running hot water that she was surprised that there were not any bidets.
Bidets?
The word bidet was lost in translation. Trying to understand, I asked her to describe what she was talking about. Putting it in delicate terms, she told me it was something that shoots water out and you clean with it. I told her that it seemed like a sink could serve the same purpose. She gasped and went into a long rant about how she thought it was disgusting that Americans just used toilet paper. To her it was the same as wiping excrement off of ones arm without washing and then going about ones business.
Tatjana soon after changed the topic to her and I sneaking out to the night clubs. Looking at a map, all we’d have to do was walk 20 blocks, cross a giant bridge, which was scheduled to close at 4 a.m., and head another five blocks. Sure sounded exciting but after the long and confused bidet conversation I decided things could get a little dangerous. Tatjana took her switch blade with her and left on her own.
Photographer and painter: Marcus Pierce
Photoshop work: Me
Stay clean comrades.
