Epic
Strapped for time and wanting to get this frivolity party started right, I am rehashing some favorite Cheep posts. As they say in the advertising industry (my own) let’s leverage this sh*t.
This is one of my most epic fashion/professional moments, circa this spring for the 2011 Rockies, an annual awards show for Idaho’s advertising industry.
In true Oscar’s style, the organizers pair up presenters to introduce each category and announce the winners. Magically, and probably because I host Story Story Night monthly without having vomited once, I was asked to be a presenter along with the elites of the agencies. I persuaded Bethany, aka the inimitable Ms. Friday, aka my creative soul mate and counterpart (she is the design to my copy), to join me.
The craftsmanship and thought that went into my dress is unbelievable. I modestly refer to it as the naked dress. Because as the picture above shows, it looks bare to the navel, but it actually has a smart and sexy bodice with an overlay of fine mesh, ornamented with stitched bead and pearl detail that looks like a necklace made for a bad ass queen.
I exaggerate often, but seriously, this is the most f*cking amazing dress I have ever seen in my life. And only $45 at Repeat Boutique. My Cheep dress cap is $20-$25, but you have to make occasional exceptions for the epics.
Anyway, when you have such a dress, you must write such a speech. Our category was “Interactive.” So here is what Bethany and I did, in a very exaggerated way to get the drunkards’ attention. Bethany’s dress was $100 (half off the $200 MSRP) at Fancy Pants. We are both wearing Spanx. Mine for $7 at TJ Maxx. My purple suede shoes were a $45 (half off at Macy’s) birthday gift from my mom and Steve Madden. Bethany and I’s jewelry (though don’t mistake the dress for jewelry) is from Bethany’s epochal Armor Bijoux.
Bethany: “Interactive and multimedia. This category is epic—a creative battle that pits right brain against left, and good sense against the evil forces of technologically clueless account people.”
Jessica: “No matter who wins tonight, we all know who the real Jedis are in this category. Programmers, tech geeks, our interactive, interoffice Obi Wans. This is your time. And we honor you now by speaking in only Star Wars metaphors.”
Bethany: When that Jar Jar Binks from accounts gave you a multimedia assignment from the Dark Side, you pulled a Jedi mind trick, united with the Rebel Alliance on the creative team, and made the jump to light-speed."
Jessica: “Yoda says, ‘Do or do not, there is no try.’ You did, young Skywalker, you did.”
Bethany: "Now, for the winner. May the force be with you." Jessica: "Congratulations _______________."
Jessica: “For our exit, Bethany and I will recreate the most epic blood, sweat and tears battle scene of all time.”
Bethany: “Using the iPhone StarWars Lightsaber Duel app.”
Bethany and Jessica fight out an exit.
Thanks to Dan Costello. I couldn’t have written this speech without your expertise.
